I tried this. I have not been able to achieve the finish I would like. But still putting it up. Comments are welcome.
Impressed by Lalus performance as Railway minister Americans call them over for a political debate with Demorcratic candidates. This is how it runs.
Moderator : Welcome to this evening debate of democrat primary contestants Barak Obama and Hillary clinton with Mr. Lallu Prasaad....
Lalu Interrupts :Lallu hoga thera bap. Laalu ji Tell. Mod : SorryLalu: Speak Laaluji. No Meester and long long name. Only Laluji call.Mod: Okay Sir.
Mod Continues :Welcome to this evening debate of democratic primary contestants Barak Obama and Hillary clinton and Lalachi...
Lalu again Interrupts: Abe Gade ke Poonch. Naam Speak Proper. It is not Lalachi. It is L-a-l-u-j-i. Lalachi means greedy. I am not greedy. Only profeszional politics from Bihar.Mod: Sorry Sir
Mod Continues :Welcome to this evening debate of democratic primary contestants Barak Obama and Hillary clinton and (slows down) L--a--l--u--j--i from India. We have L-a-l-u-j-i here to share his experience about how the largest democracy in the world looks at the concerns that we Americans face. We are loosing jobs to Indians on a regular basis. Our IT is outsourced and all this because of cheap labour. We also have many Indian community out here. They are becoming so large that one day we will have more Indians here than Americans. That is a threat. So L-a-l-u-j-is wisdom should help us gain some understanding on all this.
Laluji Starting with you : What is your opinion on the US-India realtionship.
Lalu: That Depends. I in the ruling party. Everything Good. Opposition party. Everything bad.
Mod: That can't be true.
Lal: We politics from Bihar. 50 Yr Democracy. We know the truth. Satya meve Jayathe. So what I tell truth. You know no truth.
Mod: I meant the relationship does not change depending upon which side you are.Lal: Let me tell you. Now you tell what color my dhoti. (his Dhoti is covered by the podium and Lalu really tucks himself that he cannot see).
Mod: Well...er..I can't see...Lal: You say i wear no dhoti..
Mod: no..just i can't see...
Lal: But i see..so you say what color..just say...
Mod (takes a wild guess) : Yellow
Lal: Wrong..now Come...see...
Mod: (walks up and checks out)..Sorry it is white..
Lal: See my dhoti color changed for depending on where you stand. So everything changes on where you stand..
Mod:Well...that is not what i meant...
Lal: Doosra sawal pooch..Mod: sorry..
Lal: Next Question pleaze..
Mod to Barak: What is your position on our Relations with India.
Hillary interrupts and starts offHil: I have more experience and so i will be able to answer better. I have been there and done it. Our relationship is moving to..
LaL Interuppts: Come to the matter.
Hil: Good Relations
Lal: That is the matter.
Bar: Very good relationshs and we should strive to improve it. India now becoming a super power and so there is more we need to invest on the relation.
LaL: Dheko. Our relation Bery Good. So no problem. Can my son in law come to US and libe here. Bihar is Bery hot you know.
Bar: Ofcourse. We will defnitely welcome him coming through normal channel.
Lal: Normal channel hein tho there ko koun puchtha. Normal is okay. He is abnormal.
Hil: What do you mean? He is fineLal: Fine Fine. He committed few murder
Hil: (Almost Screams)What murder
Lal: Sirf theen. Just Three. Bihar it is standard practise.
Bar: Practise. Something religious you mean.
Lal: For religion we use goat. No man. This for political practise. Jail Nahi Jayega Minister Kaisa Banega.
Bar: SorryLal: Now you say visa okay not okay.
Mod: We should change the topic. You know they cannot do anything about it. They are yet to become president. They are still fighting to become one.
Lal: oh okay...
Mod: Barak: Your healthcare policy leaves out millions. Would you like to know the health care policy in India. L-a-l-u-j-i What is your healt policy.
Lal: Good Policy. Eat Drink make merry be happy. That is the policy. Mornig Buffalo milk with roti. After noon Dahi with partha and Ghee. Night. One litre milk
Mod: Well that is a good policy sir. But about your national policy. You know how people will take care if they fall ill.
Lal: Our national policy is also same policy. Joh Jeeya woh Marega. Joh Mara woh vote karega.
Mod: Can you please say that in English Sir.
Lal: English is every body who lives good dies good. God takes care of every body. You no good you die.
Mod: is there any medical insurance to cover medial cost etc. Like Govt Hospital
Lal: you go govt hospital. you go heaven. We have big population. So Govt hospital for everyone to go to heaven.
Mod: That is a very very strange policy.
Lal: Ehxactly..That is what they say in India...America Strange..
Mod: Obama, What is that you would like Laluji to tell you on health policy
Oba: Yes. (Addressing Lalu) :: I am very impressed with your approach towards health and general public. I am looking at voluntary health insurance sign up. That way we cover a lot of people. Children it is mandatory.
Lal: Samja Samja. Ab Policy company there ko paisa dega
Lal: voluntary no good. Only Compulsary. India people do not take driving license voluntarily. So how policy.
Mod: What will be your one word of good advise
Lal: Jo Bakna hai Bakdo.Pakeka tho theek. Nahi Pakeka tho you are weak. So Ask Vote. Lathi se ya Sathi Se.